Member-only story
I saw the moon shine last night
It was bright enough to light one side of the lake outside my apartment. The moon’s halo shifted the flow of light from left to right, from darkness to hope.
As I watched this scene play out from my balcony, high enough to see the entire lake over the willow trees, I reflected on my journey, on my shift into the light.
The apple
I remember the very moment I became self-conscious. It was recess time in sixth grade. I was standing in the middle of the schoolyard when I looked around at my friends and thought: I wonder what they think about me?
That did it. That single thought changed my life for years. I couldn’t stop that wonder from impeding every step I took, every interaction I engaged in, every movement towards or away. Life isn’t the same when you can’t escape the gaze. Toni Morrison would be so disappointed.
The distance
Sometimes, I can see myself. I hear the words coming out of my mouth. I feel the trembling in my chest when my palms start sweating. Who is that person?
From a distance, I don’t recognize myself. Parts of who I am only feel real in the moments no one is watching. These words gave me an identity. Writing helped close the distance and open my mind to the possibility of becoming recognizable.
I am closer to myself now. Closer than I’ve ever been. These stories are confirmation. Tell me; what do you see?
